Episode 9: Pornography - Navigating Conversations to Guard the Heart of Your Family

02.12.20 | Parent Resources, Making History Podcast

    LISTEN

    SHOW NOTES
    QUESTIONS WE ASK
    1. Could you give us an overview of what our kids are experiencing today and how they are being exposed to pornography?
    2. What actually happens to our sexual development when our brains are stimulated by pornography?
    3. From a biblical perspective, why is pornography harmful and how does it distort God’s design for sexuality?
    4. What do I do to protect my kids from pornography?
    5. What do we do when our children have been exposed to pornography? What are age appropriate conversations to have at specific ages?
    6. What are some resources that parents need to have in their toolkit when dealing with this issue?
    7. What is a word of encouragement that you would give to the parent listening right now?
    highlights
    • Pornography used to be static, but it’s no longer that way. In today's world, Pornography finds you; the industry is built to work hard to keep itself going.
    • As kids are curious and wondering and have more access than ever before, their brains are firing and training to develop a pattern for a new normal behavior for them. (Ex. When my parents are gone, I look at pornography.)
    • In the brain, dopamine will fire and reinforce patterns and triggers.
    • Today, the average user is looking at more content, more intense content, for much longer.
    • Addiction | Rate of dopamine is higher and floods the brain longer.
    • Law of Diminishing Return | It takes more input to receive the same output.
    • The Bible defines sexuality for us: between one man and one woman in the context of covenanted marriage- for pleasure and for giving!
    • If we get a framework for sexuality from pornography, there is comparison, shame, guilt, marriage dissatisfaction, and confusion. Pornography can be a destroyer of marriage.
    • The church is beginning to discuss the issue of pornography and bringing it to light. That’s such a good thing because there is freedom in the light.
    • The average age of exposure to pornography is eight years old. It’s not an adolescent conversation anymore but the conversation about sex needs to start EARLIER and OFTEN.
    • Build in the rhythm of talking about things that come up in a life and do it consistently.
    • Where a child receives their information about sex, becomes the expert. (ex. Mom, Dad, peer, internet, etc.) Keep the lines of communication open between you and your kids.
    • Be sure to set up a boundary for technology and expectations of technology in your home. They need you, as parents, to know what they are doing. They don’t need privacy with technology, they need you.
    • Establish a trustworthy framework with your child so they know they can come to you when they hear something they don't understand. Make it FUN! Make the backdrop fun so that it helps set the groundwork for these conversations.
    • Parents encourage and equip other parents. Ask parents a few years ahead of you to know what to expect and be ready.
    • Word of Encouragement: It’s not the end of the story! In the pit of this, there is hope. Biologically and neurologically, we know so much more about the brain and God has built the brain to be retrained!
    RESOURCES